


Monsters of the past

by af1201



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Feelings, Feels, Freckles, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Oral Sex, Short One Shot, silverflint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 19:40:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14722361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/af1201/pseuds/af1201
Summary: “Are you alright, Silver?”, asked Flint, worried.Silver didn’t answer, his whole strength focused on getting air inside his lungs.





	Monsters of the past

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure where all of this came from. I'm just really curious about Silver's past. I hope you like it.

Silver got closer to him, but not touching Flint´s lips. He immediately closed the small space between them. The kiss was slow and gentle, but full of feelings. They felt how the tension that had built up in the past months, pretending not to know what was going on, that this wasn’t the inevitable ending for them, was released from their shoulders and their heart. Silver buried his fingers in Flint’s hair at the same time as he buried his mouth in his captain’s mouth. Everything flowed naturally, as it all had been there from the beginning, since the first time they saw themselves. And it probably had. Silver felt how Flint’s hands lowered down his flanks and were placed on his butt cheeks. They fit perfectly, a key in a lock that opened John’s eyes and made him realise that he couldn’t come back to the way it was before. He just couldn’t fathom a world where he was not allowed to touch and be touched by Flint, not anymore.

Flint guided him to the bed in his cabin. They fell down softly while surprisingly keeping their mouths locked all the time. Silver made a great effort to take his hands off Flint’s hair and started fighting with his breeches.

_“I need your help, Captain”_

Flint laughed and set to the task of getting himself naked. Silver was going to do the same, but he got lost in his torso. He traced every bit of skin that was now exposed just for him. He saw his pecs, completely covered in freckles. What kind of pirate had freckles? In fact, why didn’t every pirate have freckles? They looked absolutely fitting in that moment. His eyes lowered down his abs, pale and sharp and he moaned slightly anticipating what he was going to find next. Unfortunately, Flint cleared his throat and said:

_“Now I need you to get naked too, quartermaster”._

Silver obeyed as fast as he could, but it proved to be harder than he had thought, because Flint was kissing and biting and touching every exposed part of his body. That situation made it impossible to concentrate even in the simple task of undoing his pants.

Suddenly, he touched the leather of his prosthetic leg and came back to reality. He stiffened under Flint. The captain felt it and stopped. He kneeled in front of Silver and started kissing what was left of his leg. It was so gentle and sweet that Silver melted in it.

_“May I?”_ , asked Flint after a while, with his hands on the leather fasteners.

Silver hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded almost imperceptible, still insecure. He didn’t care if Flint saw him without his peg leg, it wasn’t the first time anyway. What he did fear was losing the little control he still had thanks to that piece of metal. Without it, he could not escape, he was trapped.

_“We can leave it, if you prefer. Just know that this doesn´t make me want you any less.”_

_“Ok, take it off”_ , said Silver and sighed.

Flint did so and laid it carefully on the floor. Then, Flint looked at Silver’s eyes and Silver instinctively closed them and opened his mouth, waiting for his captain’s kiss. However, it didn’t happen. Silver groaned in surprise when Flint took his dick in his mouth, all at once, and immediately moved his hands to touch the beautiful red hair of Flint like he was reclaiming its ownership. When had he become that possessive, he will never know, but right then he wasn’t going to worry about it at all. He just wondered how it was possible for that hair to be so soft and detangled after days of sailing. His curls were a complete mess after just an hour exposed to the salty wind.

Meanwhile, Flint kept on sucking him and making low sounds that made Silver shake and make high pitched noises that were completely inappropriate for a pirate. But he couldn’t care less about it. He wanted everyone on the ship to hear him, so the whole crew knew how good the great and fearsome Captain Flint sucked dick. And not just any dick, his quartermaster’s dick, HIS dick.

When Silver started to squirm and writhe and to lose any control he had left, Flint stood up and went to take something from his table. Silver complaint about the loss, but used the moment to recover a bit. Before he had even caught his breath, Flint was on him again, pushing his legs to make room for his hand. Silver felt Flint’s finger on his entrance. It was very close, too close. His head started to spin and his vision blurred, which made him close his eyes tight. Flint was too close to him. Breathing had become difficult and sweat covered his body. He felt his arms and legs go numb and he tasted something metallic in the back of his mouth.

As soon as he realised that something was wrong, Flint got off Silver and sit him up.

_“Are you alright, Silver?”_ asked Flint, worried.

Silver didn’t answer, his whole strength focused on getting air inside his lungs.

_“John?”_ continued Flint, worry turning into fear. When Silver started to tremble, Flint covered him with a bed sheet and hugged him. He felt utterly powerless.

Silver found his voice for a second and said:

_“Release me. Let me go, please. Please. Let go”_

Flint immediately moved aside as farther as his sanity let him, that was not very much, but enough for Silver to feel some air around him. Flint looked at him with distress in his eyes. He usually reacted well at the unexpected, but in that moment he was surpassed. He didn’t know how many seconds, minutes or hours had gone by. It could have been an eternity as far as he was concerned. The only certainty that he had was that he could not get his eyes off Silver.

A while later, Silver’s breathing seemed to normalize a bit, although it still was a bit uneven and fast. The main change in the situation took place on his eyes, because he opened them warily. He felt dizzy and sweaty.

_“I’m sorry”_ , were the first words to come out of his mouth. He waited for Flint to answer, but he only found silence.

_“I’m sorry”_ , he said again, a little bit louder. Every word was worth an amount of air that he didn’t have, but he kept going. _“I’m so sorry, Captain. I…don’t know what…I’m really sorry…”._

_“Shh”_ , answered Flint, who was just coming back of his shock. _“Don’t be sorry, it’s fine. Everything is fine, John. I just want you to follow my breathing, okay? Can you do that for me?”._

Silver nodded and fixed his eyes on Flint’s shoulders and chest. He tried to imitate the movement for a couple of ups and downs until he decided he had to copy the movement at the same time as he breathed in and out. Surprisingly, this seemed to work much better than his previous attempt. They kept doing this for some time until Silver found himself able to keep breathing on his own. It was then when his brain started working again. The first thing that he noticed was the distance between their bodies. He flinched at this and moved to sort that first problem out before going on with the rest.

Flint saw him moving closer and opened his arms, but let Silver decide if he wanted Flint to embrace him. When Silver collapsed onto his chest, he hugged him a bit harder than he should, but both were more than okay with it.

Silver’s mind continued analyzing the situation. He went through all that had happened, how he was enjoying, the pleasure he was feeling. Everything had been perfect until… yes, right when everything fell apart, when Flint’s finger was near his entrance, touching it. He froze for a moment and Flint immediately loosed his arms, but Silver got even closer and Flint held tight again. John liked that pressure; it kept him anchored to reality and able to keep thinking.

Silver was confused. Why had that touch triggered such a reaction from him? He had never been with a man, but he hadn’t been afraid or even slightly worried when they had started kissing. He had wanted to keep going, but his own body and mind had denied it without even telling him why.

Flint was rocking them softly and whispered words that Silver couldn’t identify. He could only understand one word: _“John”._ His given name, said with such tenderness he couldn’t recall when the last time he heard it sound like that was. He could only remember something similar from his mother, but she died when he was just 7 years old. Not even a decade all when he lost the love of a family. No one used to say anything nice in the orphanage. Back there, everything said was bathed in a layer of hate or indifference, maybe anger or mockery, but never anything remotely similar to affection.

These thoughts gave him a weird feeling. He felt like something about them was not completely true. Suddenly, he remembered. There was someone who talked to him with love. Well, with what he had read as love. However, it hadn’t been as Flint’s voice at all. The words hadn’t had the warmth that his Captain had been able to infuse in just the four letters of his name. Mr. Robertson had never accomplished that.

Silver surprised himself thinking of the cook of the orphanage. Mr. Robertson was a middle aged man, widowed, no children of his own. He used to smell ashy and musty. The man always gave Silver the best ration, and that’s why John thought of him as the father he never had. He also liked to think that he was the son Mr. Robertson always wanted. Sometimes, at night after curfew, Silver would scape from the room he shared with other 30 children and go to the kitchen to chat with him. They would spend hours talking about the latest gossip of the town and every political issue they had heard of. Well past midnight they would always say goodbye with a hug.

All of a sudden, Silver froze. Flint moved lightly to look Silver in the eyes and was alarmed by what he saw. John’s blue eyes where empty, lost in a different place and time. Silver started shivering again, his breathing shallow and fast. Tears appeared in his eyes. At first, there were just a few, running down his cheeks, but a couple of minutes later he was like a waterfall. Flint kept rocking them, frustration growing inside of him for not being able to help. He kissed his face and stroked the back of his head.

Silver had finally understood. For the first time since the whole meltdown had started, he felt clear-headed. Mr. Robertson’s affection wasn’t affection. Being given the best ration was not because of friendship or a frustrated desire of being a father. Gossiping was not just a frivolous and trivial talk. The goodbye-hug used to last longer than what would be considered normal, hands resting in spots that were not to be touched. Without warning, pictures that had been buried deep down in his brain appeared right in front of him. Rough hands, too wet lips, a voice asking him to be quiet and he complying, too scared of losing what seemed to be the last remnant of humanity in the hell of the orphanage. But he now realised that there was even more hell inside of that man than in any other place he had ever been.

Suddenly, he felt the compelling need of explaining everything to Flint, but nothing came out of his mouth when he opened it. He tried again, but failed to find his voice. Flint noticed Silver’s attempts at speaking, so he readjusted their position to make it more comfortable and looked him in the eyes. Silver looked into the depths of his impossibly green eyes and he felt at home, safe and anchored to reality. He also noticed that those usually fearless and angry eyes where now full of worry and fear, and that was so unlike Flint that it made him flinch a bit.

Silver took a deep breath and opened his mouth very slowly. This time, sounds that resembled words came out of his lips:

_“I’m sorry, Flint”_

_“Don’t be sorry, please. I just need to hear that you are okay.”_

Silver sighed and answered:

_“I can’t say that, Captain. Not right now. Not if you don’t want me to lie to your face.”_

Flint looked at him for a moment and embraced him again. Some seconds later, he kissed him on his forehead and, with an undeniable tone of voice, told him:

_“John, I don’t know what the fuck is going on. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but you must know that you can do it if you feel like it. Whatever it is, I’m going to take care of you.”_

Flint was now looking at him fiercely. Silver melted down. His eyes filled up with tears again, but they were different. They felt great, like a great burden was just getting off his shoulders. His heart emptying itself of all the sorrow, just to make room for what he thought could be actual love.

_“And, please, you can call me James if you want. I’d love it”._

Silver leaned forward and pressed his lips against Flint’s. Then, he moved back and said:

_“Thank you, James”_

Flint shed a couple of tears he hadn’t noticed were forming in his eyes. Silver was stunned by this too. He took them on his fingers and kissed them, just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. The salty taste confirmed him that they were real. It was then when he felt absolutely exhausted. Keeping his eyes open was a defying challenge.

_“James?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“James, tomorrow I’ll try to explain what has happened, but now I really need you to take me in your arms. I want us to sleep together, as close as we can, please”,_ he begged.

_“Of course”_

Flint complied and laid both of them down. He reached for the bed sheet and covered their bodies. In the time that took Flint to rest his head on the pillow, Silver had already fallen asleep. Flint stayed awake for a while, his eyes set on the man that was, at last, sleeping in his arms. He wondered how many times he had dreamt about it, the two of them sharing a bed, their skins touching all night long. However, what he was seeing was very different from that dream. He had been able to see some of the demons that John carried with him and he made a vow right there and then: he would help him bear his past. He wanted to protect Silver and make him feel safe at all costs. Maybe, if they both worked together, they could keep the little sanity they had left, although it sounded very unlikely. How could two forced-to-be pirates, with pasts full of horrors, presents full of blood and most likely no futures escape madness?

Then it hit Flint. He didn’t care at all. He realised that nothing could make him abandon the bed that night just because John had asked him to sleep together. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do if it was for Silver. Even if his feelings were not reciprocated, he would do anything Silver merely suggested. And precisely, because Silver had asked him to sleep together, as if it was an order, he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty new to fanfic writing, so I'm completely open to any suggestions to improve.
> 
> BTW, English isn't my first language, so feel free to point out any grammar mistakes and I'll try to correct them as soon as I can.


End file.
